One of the most common questions that I get is how to get help for a person who is suffering addiction to drugs or alcohol -- or to disordered eating.
Educate yourself as much as possible at the nature of these illnesses. You can find excellent information online about eating disorders at www.edap.org and www.something-fishy.org and many other sites.
The site www.gurze.com has a wonderful selection of books. For substance abuse, see www.soberrecovery.com -- one of many sites. All of this will help you understand the illnesses, the tasks involved in recovery and wellness AND allow you to communicate with your person accurately and with understanding.
Attend Al-Anon or Alateen meetings in your local area to learn how to identify any enabling behaviors that you have used with your person in the past and help you to respond to him or her in an appropriate way. See www.alanon.org for information, meetings, philosophy.
Read "The Language of Letting Go" by Melody Beattie to learn how to detach from a person's problems with love and compassion - and without fixing, blaming, enabling, manipulating, forcing, rescuing or abandoning. It's available in paperback at most book stores and online at www.amazon.com.
When your person gets to treatment, attend family sessions, which should bepart of the treatment experience. Allow yourself to learn how you havebeen affected by the person's illness and how you can respond differently tosupport HIS OR HER health and YOUR health.
In case your person decides later that he or she doesn't want to stay in treatment and asks someone to take him or her home, stand firm. NEVER make decisions inisolation; contact the other members of the family team to discuss these decisions. Say, "I will have to get back to you," if she asks for yourhelp in leaving treatment.
Consider professional help for yourself. Stay connected as a team of people continuing to learn and grow.
Continue to send love and caring to your person who is ill.
