Every so often, a parent asks me about the wisdom of spanking a child.
Now, I'm not a fan of spanking. Spanking teaches kids that it's all right for big people to hit little people -- or anyone else -- and that a sign of "bigness" is that they get to hit people too. It also teaches that hitting and hurting are legitimate repsonses to anger and that punishment, rather than teaching ways to maintain good behavior, is the focus.Time has published a good essay about spanking in the current Time magazine in an article titled, The Long-Term Effects of Spanking, which reports on a researchers at Tulane University provide the strongest evidence yet that children's short-term response to spanking may make them act out more in the long run. Of the nearly 2,500 youngsters in the study, those who were spanked more frequently at age 3 were much more likely to be aggressive by age 5.
It's better to practice alternative ways of guidance -- the key word rather than punishment -- with time-out periods, redirection and other positively oriented responses. Now, hitting is easy. Changing behaviors to parent effectively takes time, motivation and intention. If a parent finds that anger and other emotions prevent the learning and use of these activites, then it may be important to address issues relating to the self.
