In a recent blog, we explored the challenges of experience and how we can interpret experiences to advance our personal development.Now, there is a little bit of caution here. Sometimes we interpret an experience so narrowlly that is not to our benefit. In other words, the story that we made for ourselves ends up diminishing ourselves and our lives rather than enhancing our understanding of ourselves and our world.
An example:
I know a woman who lived in a small town and decided to leave the town and her family to move across five states to find a good job in a big city.
Her family was important to her. She tried to stay in touch with the family members who lived more than 500 miles away, but it wasn’t easy to make that long drive on a regular basis, especially after children arrived and the travels became more complicated. She always was the one to visit and very few members of her family traveled to visit her.
She came to the conclusion that they didn’t care about her and that their lives and families were more important than her and her family. Many years passed, and her contact with them diminished to the bare minimum – exchanging cards at Christmas with barely a note inside, just the names.
But I saw a different conclusion, a different story. She was the adventurous one – the one who bravely left home and hearth for a new life in a strange town -- full of courage. The ones who were left behind were hardly adventurous at all. They preferred to play it safe and stay in their hometown, even though opportunities were very limited.
The truth is the woman loved her family members and missed them. Rather than “experiencing” the sadness and the yearning to connect more with her family, she quickly made up a story that they were self-centered and too interested in their own lives to pay attention to her.
What might happen if you look at one of your experiences with new eyes and a different way of thinking? Ho might you change?
