By now you've surely been reading about the great big mess that James Frey is in, having made up big pieces of his so-called memoir about his drug and alcohol addiction, "A Million Little Pieces."
The book was published by Random House and endorsed by Oprah Winfrey herself. Most recently, Oprah has un-endorsed the book after it was revealed that the tale, although powerfully written, included many lies and fabrications.
Frey participated in a treatment program at Hazelden, a respected drug treatment facility in Minnesota, but he did not embrace the suggestion of attending 12-step programs to support his sobriety.
In fact, Frey has been highly critical of the 12-step movement. He has been quoted as saying that "sitting in church basements listening to people whine and bitch and complain" is nothing more than "the replacement of one addiction with another."
Either James Frey did not attend a very good meeting or he wasn't paying attention.
It is true that many people manage to stop drinking without the use of the 12-step program. The 12-step program, based on the organization, Alcoholics Anonymous, and the book of the same name is essentially a system of philosophy and direction established by the founders of AA, a stockbroker and a physician who just could not stop drinking. It has since been adopted and adopted by many other organizations that aim to help people stop other compulsive and addictive behaviors, including drug use, nicotine use, overeating, overworking, debting, and hyper-sexual activity.
It is true that many people stop drinking on their own, with the help of their own determination, their church, good friends, a wise psychotherapist or other groups such as Smart Recovery or Women In Sobriety. The fact is that AA is more available in more places than other programs and is available when other groups simply are not. Since the 1930s, this program has helped millions of people stop the drinking that was ravaging their bodies, souls and minds and devastating their family life. Millions more have been helped to stop other destructive activities through its suggested steps.
The fact is that we do need other people in our lives; they keep us honest if we are able to accept their support. Addiction, by its nature, infuses us with denial, minimizing our use and the chaos that follows.
There is also a difference being "dry" and being "sober." Many people manage to stop drinking on their own and are considered "dry." But the behavior that creates turmoil -- the anger, the controlling relationship patterns, the isolation and the dishonesty -- remains.
Being sober means that the person is actually restructuring his or her life according to a particular system. He or she takes steps to make these changes and understands that change and growth is a lifelong process.
The first step admits, "We were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable."
The following 11 steps suggest some kind of spiritual connection that must be developed to continue to evolve into a new life. There is the important action of connecting with other people that help keep us "honest." There is also evaluation of the behaviors that have come before the addiction and have become engrained after the use of the chemical stops.
This examination, as well as the people in the program, supports the change in the behaviors that accompany the addiction, including the tendency to lie, cover up and minimize these behaviors.
It would seem that James Frey lied. "Dry" he may be. But when lying and defending his life and his made-up memoir, however, we would not call him "sober."
