Proud to collect and bless 175 gift bags for the needy and forgotten

Thanks to the generosity of many, many people, we have had the opportunity to package and bless 175 gift "stockings" for the forgotten, poor and needy for Christmas.

Yes, 175! Most packages were delivered  to the Women's Resource Center, Bethany Apartments, SAFE Haven, SAFE Passage and HALO on Monday, with the last of the stockings going to Southern Oaks Girls School and Focus On Community tomorrow. Any late-arriving donations will be delivered to HALO, the local homeless shelter, which we understand is bulging at this very moment with 66 men and 57 women and children.

Here's a picture of most of the group who put it all together at Lake House Health & Learning Center on Saturday, adding their blessings of love, strength, health, protection, friendship, prosperity and more:

Donations came from members and friends of the Olympia Brown Unitarian Univeralist Church, the CNH Campus Connection, Lake House Health & Learning Center and many generous community members who read about our project in the Racine Journal Times.

We are also pleased to have collected more than 60 pounds of food to the Racine Food Bank, collected during the recent Lake House presentation of “Practical Application of Spiritual Principles -- Making The Universal Laws Work in Everyday Life” on Dec. 1.

We'll continue to collect food for the Racine Food Bank until Dec. 23. Please call (262) 633-2645 before dropping off donations.

Blessing Of The Gifts blesses everyone for the holidays

Every year for the past eight years, I’ve joined friends, church members, colleagues and others who have participated in a program that we call Blessing Of The Gifts.

Like many other organizations in our community, we collect various simple gifts for the forgotten, poor and needy in our community.

There’s more. After the donations are sorted and packaged, we mound them in the center of the room in a great big pile and give the packages our blessing – all the goodness and love and strength that we can muster.

The gifts, after all, are only a token. It is the love that we send that’s important. At this time of year, we all want to feel as if we have something valuable to give and can make a difference in our world. When we do, it feels good.

This idea – that charity has wellness benefits – is beginning to be documented. A recent Canadian study found said spending as little as $5 on others helped change mood and feelings about self. For instance, staff who got bonuses and spent some of the extra money on others were happier than those who spent their bonuses on themselves, the research found.

The gifts will be sorted, packaged and blessed at a special program from 10 a.m. to noon Saturday, Dec. 5, at Lake House Health & Learning Center, 932 Lake Ave. All are welcome to participate; please bring donation for the project or a donation of non-perishable food for the Racine Food Bank, if you are able. (The picture is a sample of just a few of the gifts that have been donated, with one bow-decorated "stocking.")

Co-creators of this project include members for the Olympia Brown Unitarian Universalist Church, corporate people at CNH Campus Connection, clients and visitors to Lake House Health & Learning Center and friends, family and neighbors. I’ve been told by several people that this annual event – we are now in our eighth year – has become a meaningful part of their holiday.

When each donation bag and box arrives, it feels like a mini-Christmas. I open the bags and find treasures. I am sure that I get as much excitement from opening the donations as the recipients do.

If you’d like to contribute, or start your own project, these are the kinds of gifts we accept:

Toiletries, hotel and regular sizes

Cards, stationery, stamps

Journals and calendars

Bookmarks

Socks, slippers and scarves

Journals

Small gifts

Plastic net bags

Yarn

The gifts are packaged in recycled plastic net bags -- the kind that are used for citrus fruits and onions -- that are used as "stockings" and distributed to the Southern Oaks Girls School, HALO, Women's Resource Center, Bethany Apartments, Focus On Community, SAFE Passage and SAFE Haven before Christmas.

Spiritual ideas, real life, gratitude and other universal laws

Markus Kasunich, a spiritual healer from Laguna Hills, Calif., visited Lake House Health & Learning Center on Tuesday to speak about his personal spiritual journey and spiritual ideas and their applications to everyday life.

The title of the presentation of this kindred spirit who was the topic of  a previous blog: “Practical Application of Spiritual Principles -- Making The Universal Laws Work in Everyday Life.”

Kasunich’s story is compelling. He grew up in Canada and suffered abuse as a young person. He tried to numb his feelings with drugs and alcohol and later became a seeker of learning and personal understanding, first at a three-year college of alternative health in Montreal, Quebec, where he learned energy healing and other approaches.

He became disillusioned with some of the so-called “new age” trappings that he found in many people and places and ventured alone into the deep forests in the wilds of rural Canada – where he quipped that American draft dodgers still live – to find his purpose in life.

Getting very physically ill after several months, he returned to civilianization to quickly stumble across the name of a master teacher at an ashram in California.

Though the past 10 years he has studied and learned from a number of teachers of mind, body and spirit approaches, including Reiki, cranialsacral therapy, pressure point therapy and energy work, among others. He spoke of one teacher whom he desperately wanted to study with; the teacher said he would take Kasunich a learner only if he agreed first to take baths every day for three weeks.

Kasunich didn’t understand, or even like, the assignment, but he gamely gave it a try. The first day he sat grumpily in the bathtub, watching the clock. On the next day, he decided to make the experience more interesting, adding a sprinkling of bath salts. Next time, he put on music he enjoyed and relaxed and listened. On another day, he added candles, slowly realizing that the teacher’s lesson focused on the importance of caring for and nurturing the self.

During Tuesday night’s informal presentation at Lake House, participants asked his views about after-death experiences, reincarnation and other spiritual questions that have been debated for centuries.

Kasunich asked instead, “What do you think?” and “What do you believe?” Rather than handing over a line of dogma, he encouraged each person present to walk on his or her own spiritual path and discover what is “right” for them.

Here’s quick snapshot of his gifts to the group:

Gratitude is a powerful prayer in itself.

Be grateful for misfortunes in life – the illness that you have, the spouse who left, the fender-bender car accident – as all carry important life lessons.

Identify the “fear filters” that keep you stuck and paralyzed.

Practice self care. Keep in mind that “self care” means self-nurturing and is different than “self-indulging.”

Study with and learn from many teachers – not just one – each may have a different way of communicating important ideals in a way that you can hear and integrate.

Energizing ideas as the days get darker and winter is coming

Yes, you can become more energetic without caffeine and sugar. As the days grow shorter, our bodies may feel sluggish. It may feel difficult to wake up in the dark mornings, for instance, or you may feel tired after added responsibilities of holiday preparation.

Here are ideas that you may wish to try:

1. Yoga and especially the classic yogic breathing activity called, “The Breath of Fire,” which involves very fast breathing in and out of the nose – pant like a dog, some say. You can observe a teaching demonstration of this technique on YouTube.

2. Eating foods that are whole foods, rather than processed foods, including quality protein to keep your body well nourished. Just regular portions of protein -- about the size of a deck of cards for meat, or a handful of nuts, or just an ounce or two of cheese -- will keep your brain alive, alert and active.

3. Therapeutic-grade essential oils can give you a lift – a number of oils are especially energizing to the brain, including basil, rosemary, orange, peppermint, lemon.

4. Practice qigong, an Asian exercise that is similar to – but much easier – than tai chi. Qigong's very simple exercises will reorient your body's energy; it's especially good to practice in the morning to begin your day. Tai chi is also very good for balancing and giving energy so make sure that you give it a try if you're interested.

5. Reduce use of computer, especially at night before bedtime. You'll sleep better.

6. CD guided meditations and imageries, or imageries on your own. When I’m not creating my own imageries for my clients, I suggest the wonderful CDs from Health Journeys.

7. Bioenergetic exercises, which are body exercises that are often amazingly simple and easy. One exercise, simply stamping your feet (left, right, left, right), can reduce anger, lift mood and give energy.

8. Rest. There's no substitute.

9. Drink water. When plants don’t get enough water, they wilt. You will feel like wilting too, when you don’t give your body enough H2O. And drink water, not tea, soda, so-called “energy drinks” or alcohol.

10. Spend time with people you like, people who are positive, caring, fun and supportive.

How various professions use role play, sometimes by other names

Sometimes people think they know a lot about role play. Sometimes people question the value of role play. However, role play -- a relative of improvised theatre which has its roots in the method known as psychodrama -- is everywhere.

Not everybody who does role play has received actual training in the technique, and thereby is the problem. But there are groups that value and use role play in their work and standardize its use.

You'll find mentions of role play in various disciplines, although it sometimes goes by other names in its documentation.

There is a group called the Association of Standardized Patient Examiners, for example. The group trains using role play, otherwise known as simulations, helping nurses, doctors and others improve their skills. Some firms train attorneys using simulations -- Trial Lawyers College is a leader in this work in the legal profession-- and the U.S. military could not function without it.

Gregory Ford, a well-known psychodramatist in Washington, D.C., offers these resources:

Here's an example of exploration of the use of role play in training in the medical profession.

For a history of the Standardized Patients methodology, you'lll find information here.

The organization that governs the licensing of people who teach using simulation in the medical profession is here.

Researchers who are interested in doing more research on the efficacy of role play might look under the specific discipline area in which which the training is to take place and then look under training and then look under simulations or role play.

Expressing the experience of mental illness -- and empowering people who suffer

The Boston University Center for Psychiatric Rehabilitation offers a spectacular program to address the stigma about mental illness with the help of people who have suffered mental illness. The program, known as Photovoice, puts cameras in the hands of individuals and asks them to produce statements of pictures and words that communicate their experience.

This empowering tool enables people at the grassroots level without access to decision-makers to represent and define issues of concern, areas of strength, and targets for change—all of which are routinely defined by health specialists, policy makers, or professionals. Amazing changes result, including education, empowerment, connection and hope.

Take a look at Beyond The Shadows Of Stigma, an eight-minute video that shows the ways that people are benefitting from expressing their experience with these digital projects. And wonder what such a a program might offer to young people, gang members, cancer patients….

A newsletter about the process is available here.

Facebook, change and other little life lessons

Change isn't easy. It especially isn't easy if you're a Facebook devotee and your Facebook page is suddenly showing up with new tabs and links and other strange stuff that clutters up the screen.

Problems with change are not a new concept for me. I'm a psychotherapist meeting with people daily who want to have a different kind of life than the life they have. They come in with stress, pain and problems and lay them down before me. What what they are saying -- in not so many words -- really is: "Take this problem away from me."

Somewhere along the line, it becomes clear that the problem won't magically disappear. There is some sort of change that needs to take place in the person's life to deal with the problem. It may be helpful to make a change in behavior, in perspective, in taking a positive risk or to otherwise address the problem in a new and fresh way.

But change isn't all that easy, even when you're a psychotherapist trained to understand change. I experienced this myself the other day when I logged into Facebook and noticed that lots of things on my page looked odd and unfamiliar.

I wasn't the only one to suffer. MSN even reported on the change and the backlash, and there's nearly one million people surging forth to join Facebook groups like Facebook: SWITCH BACK TO THE OLD NEWS FEED!!!

A Facebook friend sent instructions on how to return to the "old" display and I jumped on this information like a summer fly on a tasty picnic. I tapped in few key strokes and returned my page to the familiar view. Ah, yes. Then, feeling like a heroine and wallowing in my newly regained comfort, I shared my precious bit of knowledge with 200 of my closest Facebook friends. Judging by the number of posts that followed, I knew I wasn't the only subscriber rattled by change and relieved by familiarity.

Another sharp-eyed friend noticed that the return to the old display didn't pick up the new links that were added. So right now, I'm going with the "new" change and remembering that all change is really a challenge for us to discover new resources to meet it.

Sometimes those resources are friends and sometimes those resources are within ourselves. Sometimes they are both. Sometimes the life challenges are teeny and sometimes they are immense. However, all times we have the capacity to meet change and learn about ourselves.

The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun

There's a lot of turmoil and distress in the world. How about a little fun? (Yes!)

I just found The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun and must share. Take a look at it -- and start a conversation about what is fun and how much you pursue fun in your life.

A psychodrama session with Zerka Moreno

Zerka Moreno masterfully conducts an actual psychodrama session with a group of experienced psychodrama practitioners. The protagonist "Frank" has been having great difficulty completing his doctoral thesis on psychodrama. Zerka directs him in several powerful scenes, including role reversals with his unfinished thesis as well as with his grandfather.

Frank’s head is full of what he knows – but “being” the other allows for powerful shifts within the person that is not possible just by thinking about it and talking about it.

Zerka collaborated in the development of psychodrama with her late husband, Dr. J.L. Moreno. I had the great privilege to study with her at Boughton Place in Highland, N.Y., and it was she who encouraged me to become certified as master trainer. Now in her 90s, Zerka still conducts sessions in the living room of her home in Charlottesville, Va. She is an inspiration!

Now is the time to fortify your immune system

Now is the time to build up your immune system.

Seasons are changing and our immune systems are adjusting. I’ve heard more than a few sniffles when several clients are regretfully calling to reschedule appointments while they cough into the phone.

With so much talk about the flu vaccine (should we or shouldn’t we?), it’s good to pay attention to the system in your body that keeps you strong. And there are lots of actions that you can take to make your immune system healthy.

I like to sip herbal teas -- some are already formulated with tea bags, like Traditional Medicinals' Cold Care P.M., and Echinacea Plus-- and you can also find loose teas at various herbal shops and natural health food stores. When I make chicken soup, I also put a slice of astralgus root into the broth while it is simmering to stimulate the immune system.

Remember to wash up properly – after handling pets, before eating, after visiting the bathroom and after contact with someone who’s sick. Also wash your hands while you’re preparing food – especially if you’re working with several kinds of foods – raw meat and vegetables, for instance. Here’s a video that tells you how to really wash your hands -- worth watching

What you eat and drink will also affect the strength of your body to fight germs and other nasties. Here's a good review of 10 tips to keep your immune system strong.

Last year's Lake House blog also has some good tips worth repeating so I'll give you the link again here.

Keep hand sanitizer close by. Use bleach wipes to wipe doorknobs, phones, counters, yoga mats, wrestling mats and other frequently used objects where people may transfer germs from one place to another.

If you don’t want to use harsh chemicals, you can make cleansing wipes with pure essential oils like tea tree oil, a natural antibacterial agent, and eucalyptus. If you wish, add lavender, which will offer a pleasant smell. One recipe that I found online:

To prepare a roll of paper towels to become cleansing wipes, cut the roll in half so you have two short rolls. Remove the cardboard center. Place a short roll in an airtight water-proof container (like an old baby wipe box or tightly lidded plastic container).

Make a solution of:

1/2 cup water
1/4 cup vinegar
1 drop lavender pure essential oil
12 drops pure tea tree essential oil
12 drops pure eucalyptus essential oil

Pour the solution over the towels. Put the lid on the box and turn it upside down so the solution is absorbed. The solution could be kept in a jar and cloth towels dipped in it. Make sure that you label the solution clearly according to its use and keep out of the reach of children.

A playful and real body image video!

Swimming season is all but over in Wisconsin, but I thought you'd like to see Cindy Willick's playful and real video about body image. Cindy, who has a real woman's body, goes live on location on a beach in her bathing suit, something she says she would never have been caught doing just a few years ago. She dares you to consider if you are living or just looking:

Welcoming home Wisconsin's Vietnam veterans

A wide-reaching statewide effort to honor Wisconsin Vietnam War Veterans will culminate in a weekend of recognition and celebration of their service and sacrifice for veterans and their families.

This healing news comes from Monica Wahlberg, development officer at the Wisconsin Historical Foundation in Madison. Monica has an interest in veterans' stories and we met last week at Edward Tick's excellent"War and the Soul" retreat at the Siena Center.

The May 21-23, 2010 events – LZ Lambeau: Welcoming Home Wisconsin’s Vietnam Veterans – will feature a special evening celebration inside Green Bay’s Lambeau Field that will honor and thank Wisconsin’s Vietnam Veterans, while offering a warm welcome home that many never received.

Named for the Landing Zones that Vietnam Veterans were often deployed to and inspired by the interviews with Vietnam veterans from the forthcoming Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories documentary project, LZ Lambeau is a partnership of The Wisconsin Department of Veterans Affairs, the Wisconsin Historical Society and Wisconsin Public Television, along with an extensive group of veterans organizations statewide.

The May 22, 2010 evening event in Lambeau Field will feature special speakers, recognition, music and premiere segments from the Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories documentary.

Other events planned for the weekend include the presence of the Vietnam Moving Wall, opportunities for veterans to reunite with their fellow service men and women, a new original exhibit featuring artifacts, photographs, and other items from the vast Vietnam War collection of the Wisconsin Veterans Museum and educational exhibits from the Wisconsin Department of Veterans Affairs, a book signing of the Wisconsin Historical Society Press Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories book with co-authors Sarah A. Larsen and Jennifer M. Miller, Vietnam-era military vehicle displays, tailgating and fellowship opportunities and more. Plans also include a cross-state motorcycle ride from La Crosse to Green Bay prior to the weekend events.

Other aspects of the yearlong Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories project include a companion book to the documentary published by the Wisconsin Historical Society, a centralized project Web site, a traveling gallery portrait exhibit, a school curriculum and veteran listening sessions coordinated by the Wisconsin Veterans Museum.

Similar in format to the award-winning Wisconsin World War II Stories and Wisconsin Korean War Stories, the Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories documentary and book will allow Wisconsin veterans to tell their stories in their own words, sharing experiences and memories from the war and their return home.

Funding for expanding the programming and educational components of LZ Lambeau and Wisconsin Vietnam War Stories continues. Individual and corporate contributions are welcome.

To learn more about the weekend, to sign up for regular updates and for information about LZ Lambeau, visit here.

Here's a video from the site:

The best motivation video!

Sometimes we experiences success and sometimes we experience failure. Each is part of our experience, not who we are. A colleague just shared this motivation video with me, and now I share it with you:

A movie critic's reflections about Alcoholics Anonymous

Movie critic Roger Ebert writes about his 30 years of sobriety and his feelings and observations about the self-help group Alcoholics Anonymous in today’s issue of the Chicago Sun Times. Because he is an excellent journalist, he also links his personal experience of recovery to the portrayal of alcoholics in the movies through the years including "The Lost Weekend," "The Days of Wine and Roses" and "Clean and Sober." He also talks about community, the questions of being a "cult" and The God Word. The readers' comments online are fascinating sharing.

YouTube videos, too:

Making rain is a lot of fun

When was the last time you had fun?

You know, real fun. Fun that makes you laugh out loud and feel good, and doesn't take half of your bank account for a simple dinner and a movie. Fun that doesn't involve winning or losing, but includes everyone. Fun that spells j-o-y.

When I worked as psychotherapist at Caron Treatment Centers from the late 1980s through the 1990s, we had a list of non-competitive games that we taught our clients in between our more serious therapy groups. One of them is a gem called Rain. I was delighted to find a version on YouTube the other day:

Ruby is inspiring women to journal as she loses weight

Many people are finding inspiration in the story of Ruby Gettinger, the woman who once weighed more than 700 pounds and has been sharing her weight-loss journey on the Style Network’s show “Ruby.”

Ruby has her own page online where she tells her adventures and challenges – including her current sadness following the death of her father and a favorite pet – and shows readers how she is using journaling to lose weight and make important life changes. Her past journals have been fashioned into a book, Ruby's Diary, which is coming out next month.

I often suggest journaling to my clients who are motivated to make changes in their lives. I really believe that journaling is an amazing tool that can help people change more quickly; Research studies have show that people who journal before going to bed often sleep more soundly because they’re not thinking about distressing issues; they often feel less stress or depression due to this outlet.

People may journal on various topics as they move through the psychotherapy process. Sometimes I give specific assignments and sometimes I just say: write about what is important to you.

One valuable journaling exercise is The Feelings Journal. The Feelings Journal is actually a three-part list where you can observe a specific feeling, the situation in which your feeling shows up, and the action you take to deal with that feeling.

For instance, you might notice a feeling of sadness welling up within you. The situation is a movie that you are watching about two characters that are in the process of divorce. The action that you take is that you cry. Or you walk to the refrigerator to look for a snack. Or you tell a joke to your roommate that has nothing to do with the movie.

After keeping The Feelings Journal during a period of time, you’ll begin to notice valuable patterns about what feelings you have, in what situations and what you tend to "do" with your feelings.

Ideas for journaling

Comment on your insights, feelings and “aha” moments after a psychotherapy session or another healing-oriented session.

Set a personal growth goal and comment on your progress toward that goal on a daily basis.

Read an inspirational reading from a spiritually oriented book and write how you personally relate to the reading.

Read a self-help book about a topic that interests you and journal how you relate to each chapter at the end of each
chapter.

Discuss a current problem that you are experiencing and identify possible solutions and ways of dealing with it.

Journal in the morning to record your night time dreams, plans or goals for the day, food plan and other thoughts.

Journal in the evening to observe how you met your goals, your important feelings and experiences that day, the blessings that you received for the day, amends that yiou may need to make to others or issues that are troubling you.

There are many books on journaling that give more specific ideas on journaling. Some focus on specific topics such as grief and loss and others are general guides to making the most of journaling for personal growth. There are also hundreds of online resources that will give you more ideas.

Change your breathing, change your asthma, sleep apnea, stress

We all know that a couple of good, slow breaths are calming.

There’s more. Learning simple changes in breathing patterns can significantly help people suffering asthma, sleep apnea, snoring and other breathing disorders.

In the late 1940s, Russian medical student Konstantin Pavlovich Buteyko made an observation that has changed the management and lifestyle of thousands of people with breathing disorders. He noticed that the condition of patients in the acute respiratory ward deteriorated when their breathing rate increased. He also noticed that those who reduced or normalized their breathing rate began to recover. This fact had been noted before, but Buteyko's research and application of these observations allowed him to develop the breathing techniques that bear his name today.

His work lives today with the Buteyko Institute, which has demonstrated this method throughout the world. Additional applications have been documented to calm children in school settings. In Glasgow, Scotland, where the Buteyko program was utilized in whole schools, the cycle of stress was nearly completely eliminated and students’ progress and social skills and attendance improved.

You can find more info at Sleeping All Night, which is designed to provide concise information on Buteyko with particular attention given to addressing asthma, sleep apnea, snoring, insomnia, nasal problems, anxiety and general health improvements.

For more, see this YouTube video – one of many online – for a very simple piece of advice for everyone to improve their health that will cost you nothing.

Healthy Lives, Healing Journey open house and book sale

Just a quick reminder of our upcoming open house and book sale at Lake House Health & Learning Center:

Sunday, Aug. 16, from noon to 3 p.m. at 932 Lake Ave., Racine. Watch for the colorful flag!

Lake House practitioners and friends will gather to speak, demonstrate and share important information about starting you on a healthy journey – or helping you move ahead to your next step of personal growth and change.

If you want to make changes in your life – or are seeking second opinion – or looking for some good bibliotherapy -- or just want to gather with kindred spirits, join us.

Here are the practitioners you'll meet and their specialties:

"Psychotherapy as Experience: How It Creates Real Change" with Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP, psychotherapist, coach and psychodramatist.

"Animal Reiki" with Judy Warner, nationally certified massage therapist and Reiki master.

"Pet First Aid" with Michele Safcik, owner of Little Pals, a pet-sitting and pet care service.

"Stress Relieving Yoga" with Marie Boyum, certified yoga teacher, meditation teacher and wellness coach.

"Chiropractic Care for Improved Posture and Reduced Pain at Work" with Dr. Scott Sheriff, chiropractor.

"Spiritual Guidance" with Karen Aiken, spiritual teacher and raw foods consultant based in Lake Geneva.

Plus, Laura Sebastian, Feldenkrais practitioner and macrobiotic cook, will circulate within the open house and answer questions about her work.

We’ll have stacks of affordably priced health books on topics ranging from parenting to self-help to mental health to recovery, plus healthy refreshments, printed information – including the 2009 Guide To Health, Wellness and Creative living in Southeastern Wisconsin and Northern Illinois – and discount coupons and door prizes.

Call (262) 633-2645 for more information.

May Creative Souls inspire you

Every so often, I like to check out other people’s blogs. It’s a nice diversion from many of the topics that I deal with every day as a helping professional and my own blog (this one!) which sometimes can become quite serious.

Just today I discovered a beautiful site called Creative Souls, which allows people to share and exchange photos, ideas and examples of their creativity. Since I like looking at change as a challenge for creativity and courage, I love this idea and what it represents.

The fact is that creativity is the antidote to pain and the reward of inspiration. It is also a joy. So, enjoy! May you be inspired to create something good.

Visit Creative Souls

Breath of Fire is yoga's substitute for cup of coffee

Are you looking for a way to reduce your use of coffee and learn how to energize yourself naturally?

I like “Breath of Fire,” a dynamic breathing technique from the practice of Kundalini Yoga. Here’s a YouTube video by Gurmukh teaching this technique which offers a huge list of benefits, including opening energy pathways in the body, detoxifying the system and increasing vitality. It can change your energy and mood in as little as one minute -- no caffiene involved.



There are many variations of this technique – the version that I learned comes from Joachim Mayer who teaches Kundalini Yoga in Racine. When I sometimes teach it to clients, it involves keeping your mouth closed and breathing in and out rapidly through the nose. I don’t use the sticking-out-the-tongue part. Sometimes the hands are at rest on the knees and sometimes they are raised above the head.

Here’s another version with Anmol Mehta who has many videos on YouTube. Try it. Coffee’s lure will never be the same.

"How do I make someone stop drinking, drugging, smoking...?"

Here's the scenario:

You have a person who is drinking, drugging, pill-taking, smoking or -- fill in the blank -- in your life. The person is someone you care about and you clearly see that this compulsive or addictive behavior is hurting the person and affecting others -- including you.

One of the most common questions that I receive is, "How do I make someone stop?" This question has recently become more frequent due to news coverage about entertainer Michael Jackson's extreme prescription drug use, which led to his death in late June. The current Associated Press report that increasing numbers of women are drinking dangerously adds urgency to the question.

Well, you'll never MAKE someone stop. But what you do, or don't do, can have a serious effect on the well-being of the other person -- as well as your own level of sanity and ability to function in your world with the drinking, drugging, pill-taking person.

Ultimately, you will have to learn how to support, not to "fix." This isn't easy. People naturally want to make things better for other people, especially people they care about, and the word "support" is so vague that it has come to mean just about anything.

Here's what doesn't help:

Blame, nag, scold, shame, criticize, threaten, beg, plead, yell, swear, name call, use sarcasm, hit, scream, manipulate, cry, pout, judge, give guilt trips, pressure, accuse or put down. Not only are all of these actions non-productive, they create an adversarial relationship with you and the person you're trying to help.

Purchase, supply, offer or use mood-altering chemicals for or with the person who you think should quit such use.

Dismiss the seriousness of substance abuse or addiction by sending e-mails, greeting cards or gifts to the person that make drinking, drugging, binging, -- fill in the blank again -- amusing, normal or permissible.

Speaking to the person about his or her addiction when he or she is intoxicated or high. It's not productive.

Excusing the person's behavior, putting the actions to stress, life difficulty, childhood pain, economic struggles and the like. Although it is understandable that the person may turn to mood-altering chemicals and activities to relieve the emotional or physical pain, many others have these experiences and do NOT abuse substances or practice dangerous compulsive behaviors. If they do, they have the responsibility to address this brain illness.

Here's how you can support change and abstinence:

Speak to the person when he or she is not intoxicated. In as calm a voice as you can manage, mention your concern. Speak about the person's health and the way that you are affected by the person's behavior. You can also say, "I love you and want you to be healthy and enjoy life."

Educate yourself about substance abuse and addiction. It is a brain illness, in which the brain has been taught to crave the mood-changing substance, despite the person's conscious wish to stop its use. Books, publications, online resources and community groups like Focus will help you learn more.

Allow learning from natural consequences and permit the person to face the reality of his or her use. If health, legal, occupational or other problems result due to use of mood-altering chemicals, that person should take responsibility for these matters. This may mean paying fines, getting repairs for the OWI-damaged car, spending savings for an attorney or even going to jail.

Plan an intervention. Interventions are carefully prepared and rehearsed meetings of family, friends, professionals and others who are willing to directly and lovingly speak the truth about how someone's chemical use is damaging their lives. You will also need to identify what you will be willing to change about your behavior if that person does not change. A helpful book about interventions is "Love First: A Family's Guide To Intervention."

Support the person's ongoing involvement in 12-step groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Nicotine Anonymous, Pills Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and other self-help groups or programs that teach people how to live without mood-altering substances.

Support the use of psychotherapy and other appropriate health-enhancing choices for the addict. Offer to help in researching options and resources and be willing to take part in family or couple counseling sessions.

Offer to provide transportation, funds, child care or other specific resources that help the person attend meetings, treatment programs, therapy appointments and other positive self-care and health-care activities.

Attend self-help groups for yourself. This is critical. Groups like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and O-Anon and many others offer a structured program to learn how to change behavior patterns that are enabling, destructive or otherwise counter productive. You will also learn how to practice detachment with love, step away from the person's issues and get support for yourself.

Ask the recovering person, "How can I support you?" and encourage the person to be specific.

Stop using mood-altering substances yourself. If the thought of stopping your use to support someone else become sober and clean panics you -- even for a short time -- then you may have a problem that you should address.

Work on yourself and your own personal growth and understanding as you find ways to care for yourself and enjoy and improve your life. Find a psychotherapist, coach, other helping professional or sponsor to guide you.

If you or your children are in personal danger due to a person's use of chemicals, make plans to protect yourself and leave the situation if necessary. In Racine, you can call 211 Racine or the Women's Resource Center, which assists abused adults and their children.

Remember that the outcome of another person's life is not in your control. But you do have the opportunity to learn how to make healthy choices for yourself and your family and many times those choices impact the other person.

Creativity in high demand in low economic times

Who wants to be a millionaire?

Difficult economic times have spawned zillions of new ideas, entrepreneurship and even millionaires. There are multiple stories on the Web claiming that that more millionaires were made during the era of the Great Depression than in any other era in U.S. history. Whether that story is true, I don’t know – but I do believe that many people saw opportunities amid inflation, unemployment and soup lines and found themselves thriving rather than just surviving.

There are people, me included, who say that the current recession is no exception the possibility of innovation and prosperity. I like how Andrew Razeghi, author of “The Riddle: Where Ideas Come From And How To Have Better Ones,” says that economic downturns are good times to break with the status quo. The fact is that creativity is a key skill in this economic market. Business people, large and small, must approach their businesses, employees, marketing strategies, products and services with new eyes and the willingness to make appropriate changes. So must community leaders, social service agencies and a host of others. People who are creative – who have the gifts of looking at timeworn cultural traditions and finding new possibilities -- are in great demand.

But what is creativity?

We have to banish the idea that: “Creativity is thinking outside of the box.” It is NOT! Creativity is using BOTH sides of the brain — the right brain and the left brain — and the ability of the brain cooperate and to put information together in new ways. We create best when we balance the brain and use both our thinking and feeling capacities. Here’s a quote from Rosabeth Moss Kanter that I love:

“Creativity is a lot like looking at the world through a kaleidoscope. You look at a set of elements, the same ones everyone else sees, but then reassemble those floating bits and pieces into an enticing new possibility. Effective leaders are able to.”

Or, as I like to say:

"Forget the box! It doesn’t work that way! Forget the emphasis on thinking. It doesn’t work that way! It’s the BRAIN, not the box."

Jill Bolte Taylor’s amazing new book, “My Stroke Of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey,” eloquently tells about her stroke and how she could no longer think in a linear fashion. She literally experienced the different functions of her brain, gained in capacity to stay in the present moment, developed new skills and learned that the right brain is the key to enlightenment. See information about the book, read an interview and watch a video here and visit her Web site here.

She says:

"...although I lost my left cognitive mind that thinks in language, I retained my right hemisphere that thinks in pictures."

I am always available for creativity coaching by personal appointment and phone. With the magic of psychodrama theory and techniques -- which impact both the cognitive and imaginative sides of the brain -- we can delve deep to find your gifts, identify and refine new ideas and decide how to present them for public consumption. Right now I’m working on a free e-book about how creativity works. Let me know if you’d like to be on my mailing list to receive a copy.

Youth and gangs -- a complex situation

Racine is seeking a three-year stimulus grant to coordinate gang prevention activities.

The funds, if received, would amount to $450,000 and would be used to hire a director and create a database that tracks young adults who have had contacts with gangs. The director would work with local organizations and the database would be made available to non-profit organizations, schools and local agencies. This potential grant is making news because gangs have been a top-headline news controversy for quite some time in Racine. The question about what do to about them has no easy answers.

The fact is that the topic of youth and gangs is complex situation with many causes and effects. The topic is worth educating ourselves about, not only to save the next generation of our young people but also to make our neighborhoods safe and prosperous.

Youth who join gangs invariably have suffered some kind of trauma – abuse, abandonment, emotional and physical neglect, witnessing a crime, to name a few. All experiences of trauma involve loss of physical or psychological power. When people have experienced trauma they want one thing only, and that is to feel powerful again.

Gangs help many youth feel some semblance of power in their lives. They are connected to a powerful group, for instance, or feel the power that comes with being accepted by others, taking daring risks and surviving, being feared by others, using mood-altering substances —again, to name a few.

Effective gang diversion programs for youth should help the traumatized youth to feel powerful again – in positive, rather than destructive, ways. Not every young person is able to respond in exactly the same way to exactly the same kind of program, so the programs need to be flexible and varied. Designers of programs also need to understand and be able to apply the most up-to-date research about trauma and the brain – which affects the ability to learn new information.

Gangs aren't limited to the United States. Here's an interesting video made by young people in London, England. I like the creative aspect of kids using digital storytelling to investigate and share experiences and information.

Here's another video, this one from Los Angeles, showing an innovative program that takes a "whole child" approach to helping youth succeed in school, cope with trauma, and avoid gangs and delinquency. It is a partnership between LAUSD, LAPD, CSU-Los Angeles, Alliance for a Better Community, and Families in Schools; it targets at-risk youth in the Pico-Union district through a four-part intervention, one of which is Ripple Effects.

Finally, discussion of addressing gang activity in Hobbema, once a oil-rich reserve of 12,000 Cree Indians south of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which is struggling to regain control of its community from the grips of violent street gangs. I like the one community member's mention of the gangs being "spiritually and emotionally hungry."

Wise words for parents of ADHD children

Dr. John Breeding, professor, author and Ph.D. psychologist, calmly discusses Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, the decade's diagnosis-du-jour, in this YouTube video. ADHD is the diagnosis that results in the medicating of millions of children who are prescribed mood-altering psychiatric drugs in the United States every year.

He has some wise words for parents and other adults concerned about their children's behavior: look at these children not as strange or pathological but as talented, energetic and zestful. He also says:

"Your child needs you to be relaxed and confident."

And:

"Remember to see your child through the eyes of delight."

Breeding is author of the "The Wildest Colts Make the Best Horses" and frequently speaks out about the overuse of psychiatric medication. His site offers an alternative perspective to the bio-psychiatric industry, and to the millions of psychotropic prescriptions written for children and adults.

Although there certainly is value in psychiatric medications, I tell the people who I work that that they should be first resort only in a dire emergency and more frequently, last resort -- after counseling, lifestyle changes and serious self exploration -- when there is no emergency. Breeding speaks for the natural, built-in ways of psychological healing and maintains that with attention and adequate resources anyone can reemerge from even the greatest distress and most extreme states of mind.

What we eat affects our mental health too

Eat Right Racine gave a beautiful gift to our community on Wednesday night – the chance to learn about healthy food.

This a very important project for our community. Congratulations to the three energetic women with the vision to put this program together and the many, many others who lent their time and skills.

What we consume not only affects the quality of our physical health, it also affects the quality of our mental health. It has now been shown that foods and beverages impact our brain and nervous system and ability to learn and retain information – as well as our memory and our ability to think clearly. We can also experience depression, anxiety, mood swings, PMS, and addictive cravings related to what we eat and drink.

For more information, see Elizabeth Somer’s newly updated Food and Mood: The Complete Guide To Eating Well and Feeling Your Best and Barbara Stitt’s Food and Behavior: A Natural Connection who actually relates certain foods to criminal behavior.

I suggest both books to my clients who come with depression and anxiety and don’t want to start with medications to address their mood swings or cravings. Also, check out Eat Right Racine for more ways to learn and get involved.

Publishers Weekly said this about Somer’s book:

"What at first glance would appear to be yet another look at the relationships of food with emotional state is, instead, an extremely well-researched probe of what a good diet can mean to both body and mind. Somer, editor of Nutrition Report, dispels many of the myths about specific foods and diet patterns, putting in their place scientific studies showing the links between mood and diet. Among the topics she discusses are food cravings, stress and diet, food allergies and intolerances, eating disorders, premenstrual syndrome and how food can affect sleep patterns. More than 100 tables, charts and worksheets help readers evaluate their diets and make appropriate changes. Menus and recipes are also included, and the need for supplements is discussed. Readers will appreciate Somer's no-nonsense style and the absence of contrived anecdotes to make important dietary points. Although some may find that the book gets off to a slow start, those who stick with it will find a valuable nutritional sourcebook."

12 reasons why people don't have health care

I was pleased to participate in Friday’s noon march and rally for health care changes in Racine. (See picture at top originally published in the Racine Post with accompanying story.) There are many reasons why people are not able to receive quality health care. As a practicing health care professional, I have observed and discussed all of these reasons:

They have lost their jobs, due to plant closings, business layoffs, downsizing and other factors relating to our current economy.

They have depended on receiving benefits from a spouse’s health care plan and the spouse has lost his or her job due to plant closings, business layoffs, downsizing and other factors relating to our current economy.

They have a job, but it does not provide health care benefits. They must pay for all health benefits out of pocket.

They are in transition – just graduated from high school or college, for instance, and are hunting for a job. Or they may have moved with a spouse to a new area and are still job hunting. Or they may have moved home to care for the needs of an elderly relative which they consider their unpaid “job.”

They have depended on receiving benefits from a spouse’s health care plan, and the spouse is abusive (physically, emotionally, sexually) to themselves, their children or both. They must leave the relationship to maintain their safety, sanity or their lives. Once they are divorced, benefits are no longer available.

They have health care benefits but the insurance policy has a very high deductible ($4,000 or more) and they cannot use any benefits until that annual deductible is met.

They have health care benefits but cannot afford the fees that are out-of-pocket expenses, including co-pay charges, medication charges and the like.

They have health care benefits but the benefits are very limited and do not cover certain procedures or kinds of care. Strangely enough, one benefit that is not covered by some insurance policies is treatment for nicotine addiction, which as we know, brings or exacerbates multiple serious physical health problems – high blood pressure, heart attacks, respiratory difficulties and the like.

Their health care plan does not provide for pre-existing conditions. This means that if you have a medical problem which exists at the time you enroll in or purchase your health insurance, the insurance company will deny all claims pertaining to this medical problem for a certain period of time. In other words, a person facing an emergency situaton may have to wait 12 to 18 months to receive treatment -- at which time the siutuation could deteriorate.

Certain parts of their health care plan are limited to a specific number of sessions, perhaps just six or 10 sessions a year. This is common with certain policies relating to mental health treatment. While some issues are able to be addressed in that amount of time, other serious conditions may need much more time to treat and resolve.

Their health care plan does not provide for treatment from certain hospitals, clinics, physicians, dentists or practitioners. They are extremely limited in the care they can receive and from whom – even if they would be better served by the practitioner or clinic of their own choice.

Their health care needs can be resolved – often easily and more affordably – from a practitioner who uses complementary or alternative medicine, such as an acupuncturist, massage therapist, naturopathic physician or another professional in a similar field. Their insurance policy does not recognize the value of these fields, nor does it reimburse for such treatments.

Education to prevent disease, reduce stress (which is often the precursor for physical and mental health problems), high levels of training for practitioners and changes in certain lifestyle habits that contribute to illness are also important, of course, but not a substitute for good health care.

Relax with Reiki and build your vital energy

Helene Hellesen’s June special with Reiki turned out so fabulously that she’s extended the offer through August 2009. Here it is:

Book a session or buy gift certificates during July and August and mention this offer for a $45 (regularly $60) session for Reiki, Reiki-ssage or a Reiki-reflex session.

These 50-minute sessions great gift idea for birthdays, stress relief, weddings, showers, new mothers, and yourself - and Helene will give you a pretty gift certificate, too. I like to refer to this amazingly calming modality for people experiencing stress, anxiety, racing thoughts and difficulty sleeping, among other difficulties.

The Reiki technique involves a Reiki practitioner focusing energy on the client, either through direct hands-on contact or with the hands several inches away from the client's body. The universal energy may be directed to an area of the body or it is simply "allowed" to flow to where it seeks a balance.

Watch a demonstration of a treatment by well-known Reiki instructor John Harvey Gray here, one of many excellent examples on the Web, where he tells how the method raises general physical vitality:

Reiki is a positive form of energy and cannot cause any harm. It does not have any side effects and it only serves for the highest good of the person who is receiving it.

People who receive Reiki-ssage are finding better results than with traditional massage or pure energy work. They describe the benefits as "a massage that keeps going for days" or "refreshing - like waking up from a 10-year sleep."

Reiki-ssage is much more than just another technique. It is blended within a complete philosophy and approach to healing that can support and strengthen any other modality of healing. Reiki-reflex blends together concepts from Reiki, Reflexology and Zone Therapy. Working on the feet, shoes and socks are removed. The session begins with the client laying on his or her back on a massage table or sitting comfortably in a reflexology chair.

Reiki-reflex cannot make any condition worse. It helps nature normalize body functions. A session relaxes the stress that can affect your health safely and effectively -- and who doesn't need that right now!

Reiki-reflex is blissfully relaxing for the client, and lasts about 45 - 55 minutes. Call Helene Hellesen, Certified Massage Therapist, Reiki Master and Certified Reiki-ssage Practitioner, at (262) 880-7594 to order your certificates.

A powerful health care video by Community For Change

Here’s a moving and important video from the folks at Community For Change, a grassroots organization in Racine that is creatively exploring how to promote equity and choice within our health care system.

Be sure to join the members of Community for Change for the upcoming “Community Conversation on Healthcare Reform” and accompanying Expo on from 1 to 4 p.m. Sunday, July 26, at the Masonic Center, 1012 Main St., Racine. The event is is free and open to the public. Watch for Lake House’s exhibit table where you can learn about the options at our center and sign up for our free e-mail newsletter.

Find more videos like this on Yes We Can Racine

Healthy energizing ideas -- without caffiene or sugar!

As a psychotherapist – including having done work with addicted people – there is a great need for information about learning how to find ways to become more energetic without caffeine and sugar.

Here are ideas that you may wish to try:

Start with yoga and especially the classic yogic breathing activity called, “The Breath of Fire,” which involves very fast breathing in and out of the nose – pant like a dog, some say. You can observe a teaching demonstration of this technique at YouTube.

• Eating foods that are whole foods, rather than processed foods, including quality protein. Quality protein includes lean meats, fish, small portions of nuts, peanut butter -- no sugar is better -- whole cheese rather than processed, and combinations of beans and rice.
• Therapeutic-grade essential oils – a number of oils are especially energizing to the brain, including basil, rosemary, orange, peppermint and lemon.
• Practice qigong, a meditative Asian exercise that is similar to – but much easier – than tai chi. Tai chi is also very good for balancing and giving energy.
• Reduce use of computer, especially at night before bedtime.
• CD guided meditations and imageries, or imageries on your own. When I’m not creating my own imageries for my clients, I suggest the wonderful CDs from Health Journeys.
• Bioenergetic exercises, which are body exercises that are often amazingly simple and easy, can change your mood very quickly. One exercise, simply stamping your feet (left, right, left, right), can reduce anger, lift mood and give energy.
• Rest.
• Drink water. When plants don’t get enough water, they wilt. You will feel like wilting too, when you don’t give your body enough. And drink water, not tea, soda, so-called “energy drinks” or alcohol.
• Spend time with people you like, people who are positive, caring, fun and supportive.
  

Healing trauma is possible -- just not always easy

I’m just finishing a four-session group on recovery from trauma at Lake House. One of the questions that has been asked is:

“Do people who have experienced trauma ever really heal?”

And one of the counter-questions that survivors often hear is:

“Can’t you just get over it?”

Both of these questions have value, and both of these questions are, in fact, entwined. Survivors of trauma are often eager to get “over” the trauma but find they can’t get past it despite their best efforts. Other people who cannot understand their reality often experience impatience, confusion and misunderstanding.

For people directly affected by traumatic experiences, there still may be tears, pain, confusion and the continuing reminder of someone who is beloved who is gone. For the community at large, there may be lingering shock that something so awful could happen in a community they love, just a glance from their own back yard, and questions about how this cycle of pain can be changed. In today's world, there is increasing human-made violence that is causing all sorts of extra trauma, such as school violence, gang crimes, domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual assault, terrorism like Sept. 11 and war.

Although some people believe there's no way that anyone could recover from such personal devastation, healing is possible. Many people do recover, even finding themselves with a greater sense of personal resilience and wisdom -- strong at the broken places.

Here are some things to know about trauma:

Experiencing trauma -- by definition, an experience that overwhelmed your ability to cope -- is a natural part of being human. Unexpected loss, natural catastrophes, illness, great pain and accidents are part of the normal human condition. At some point in each person's life, he or she will experience some kind of situation that we now call trauma. There is no shame about this.

Trauma destroys trust -- the trust of one’s own capabilities, the trust of others and the trust of the goodness and predictability of the universe. Because the person cannot seem to feel safe, even with himself or herself, there is constant stress, vigilance and suspicion.

When we have been traumatized, we naturally seek to feel a sense of power again. Many people seek to regain this power in unhealthy ways, including drugs, alcohol, disordered eating and compulsive behavior. Some become perpetrators, hurting others to continue the cycle of violence.

Healing is possible.

First, you must open your eyes and be able to label the traumatic experiences and violence you and others in your families and communities have experienced. This is the first step to recovery. Break the cycle of silence, and trauma can begin to be healed. Tell someone what you feel, what has happened to you. It is OK to talk to someone safe.

Secondly, you have to be willing to experience the pain of the trauma, rather than avoid it. Typically we avoid pain in many ways -- drinking, using drugs, overeating, denial or simply fantasizing that we can return to "normal," the way it was before the trauma happened. However, the real healing comes with your willingness to let yourself be confused and angry and sad during what may be an extended period of time. There is power in being able to identify and express feelings. At some point, it may be appropriate to acknowledge any responsibility you might have had in the incident yourself, but only so you can forgive yourself and move on, not so you can wallow in guilt and shame.

If the pain is so great that you cannot imagine that it would be possible to feel it or contain it, seek out additional help rather than think that you can do it alone. You will want to begin to find people who can accept and listen to your pain. These people and places may be family members, friends, teachers, counselors, pastors, support groups, churches and other palces of worship, Twelve-Step meetings, --anyone who is willing to listen, learn more and can understand.

Advances in technology has made it possible for us to measure how the brain changes from overwhelming stress and violence. This has profound implications for treatment and recovery. Talk therapy manages symptoms. You can learn how to identify what reminds you of a trauma in the past and how it is affecting you in the present. Then you can make sense of the nonverbal, emotional symptoms of PTSD for yourself or others close to you. Experiential, body-oriented and action therapies directly treat the nonverbal, emotional symptoms of PTSD and provide immediate empowerment for people and communities.

Although recovery is possible, do not expect things to go back to "normal." The reality is that life will be different. Life will never be the same as they were before the "thing" happened, but if you go bravely through the grieving process, you can come out the other side better than you were before, rather than worse, and learn how to attend to reminders of your pain in healthy ways.

It's doubtful that you'll actually be happy that the event happened, but you may be surprised that you can actually feel respect or gratitude for difficulties and tragedies that take you to higher levels of personal development. By active grieving and recovery, you transform the event into something helpful and beneficial, rather than letting the event transform you into something broken and hopeless.

Anti-smoking drugs may cause other problems

Two popular anti-smoking drugs -- Chantix and Zyban -- will now carry warnings about the risk of severe mental health problems, the Food and Drug Administration announced Wednesday. This is important news, with Wisconsin public places going smoke-free one year from now in July 2010.

Read more here to learn about this research.

I predict this news will encourage smokers to reconsider and research more natural means of stopping smoking -- including hypnosis, self-help groups like Nicotine Anonymous, Chinese herbal remedies and acupuncture.

Why people are addicts -- the lizard brain!

One of the most memorable and informative lectures for patients and their families at Caron Treatment Centers in Wernersville, Pa., is the weekly “Lizard Brain” lecture by Dr. Joseph Troncale. As a former group therapist and family advocate at Caron, I really want to share this up-to-date information with you -- important since so many people struggle with addiction -- or know people who do.

Listen to this excerpt from a podcast as Dr. Troncale explains how a person’s brain chemistry factors into the disease aspect of addiction.

Addiction is now considered a brain disease – a disease that affects the disregulation of the brain's limbic system – or as he calls it – “the lizard brain.” Find out how to order the full copy of the DVD too -- or call (800) 678-2332, extension 6402.

Also from Caron: The second most used drug in the United States isn't illegal. They are pills -- perfectly legal prescription drugs.Here's a powerful video about addiction to prescription drugs and how recovery happens. Watch and listen to other people's stories.

Dove and the evolution of "beauty"

Here is a short video that we should all be watching and sharing -- especially with teen-age girls and other impressionable young women. It's a testimony to the sophistication of cosmetics, professional styling, the power of the photograher and the wizardry of the computer to enhance and promote. It's just one minute -- take the time.

A tale of two wolves

A wise Cherokee grandfather is telling a story to his grandson.

The story is about two wolves – two wolves that seem to be fighting within a human, a two-legged as the natives call the humans. Each wolf is big and strong and the battle is fierce.

One wolf is filled with anger, negativity, fear, arrogance, greed, superiority and false pride. The other wolf contains the qualities of peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

It is a great battle, says the elder, as his grandson listens.

The grandson thought about this fight for a little while. “Which one will win?” the curious child asks the grandfather.

And the grandfather answers:

“The one you feed.”

I don’t know if this story is true or not, or even if it belongs to the Cherokee nation or is just one of those tales that is passed around the Internet. However, one another level, this story is most definitely true. The fact is that what we choose to focus on will grow within our minds. It will soon dominate our thoughts and shade our mood. In the world, we will be alert to confirmations of the qualities of one world or another.

If we focus on our resentments and all the ways that we have been mistreated and misunderstood, we certainly will begin to feel like victims, full of pain and hopelessness. However, if we acknowledge our pain but focus on the blessings that rain into our world, we will grow in our ability to bless our present and our future.

Negativity can also poison our relationships with others. If we have a friend or family member whom we decide is thoughtless, we will watch for all those times when he or she is thoughtless, or careless, or wrong. We won’t be able to see – or will notice for barely a fleeting moment – when the person is caring, or concerned, or loving. The observations will infect the relationship as certainly as any real toxic substance.

What wolf do you feed?