A movie critic's reflections about Alcoholics Anonymous

Movie critic Roger Ebert writes about his 30 years of sobriety and his feelings and observations about the self-help group Alcoholics Anonymous in today’s issue of the Chicago Sun Times. Because he is an excellent journalist, he also links his personal experience of recovery to the portrayal of alcoholics in the movies through the years including "The Lost Weekend," "The Days of Wine and Roses" and "Clean and Sober." He also talks about community, the questions of being a "cult" and The God Word. The readers' comments online are fascinating sharing.

YouTube videos, too:

Making rain is a lot of fun

When was the last time you had fun?

You know, real fun. Fun that makes you laugh out loud and feel good, and doesn't take half of your bank account for a simple dinner and a movie. Fun that doesn't involve winning or losing, but includes everyone. Fun that spells j-o-y.

When I worked as psychotherapist at Caron Treatment Centers from the late 1980s through the 1990s, we had a list of non-competitive games that we taught our clients in between our more serious therapy groups. One of them is a gem called Rain. I was delighted to find a version on YouTube the other day:

Ruby is inspiring women to journal as she loses weight

Many people are finding inspiration in the story of Ruby Gettinger, the woman who once weighed more than 700 pounds and has been sharing her weight-loss journey on the Style Network’s show “Ruby.”

Ruby has her own page online where she tells her adventures and challenges – including her current sadness following the death of her father and a favorite pet – and shows readers how she is using journaling to lose weight and make important life changes. Her past journals have been fashioned into a book, Ruby's Diary, which is coming out next month.

I often suggest journaling to my clients who are motivated to make changes in their lives. I really believe that journaling is an amazing tool that can help people change more quickly; Research studies have show that people who journal before going to bed often sleep more soundly because they’re not thinking about distressing issues; they often feel less stress or depression due to this outlet.

People may journal on various topics as they move through the psychotherapy process. Sometimes I give specific assignments and sometimes I just say: write about what is important to you.

One valuable journaling exercise is The Feelings Journal. The Feelings Journal is actually a three-part list where you can observe a specific feeling, the situation in which your feeling shows up, and the action you take to deal with that feeling.

For instance, you might notice a feeling of sadness welling up within you. The situation is a movie that you are watching about two characters that are in the process of divorce. The action that you take is that you cry. Or you walk to the refrigerator to look for a snack. Or you tell a joke to your roommate that has nothing to do with the movie.

After keeping The Feelings Journal during a period of time, you’ll begin to notice valuable patterns about what feelings you have, in what situations and what you tend to "do" with your feelings.

Ideas for journaling

Comment on your insights, feelings and “aha” moments after a psychotherapy session or another healing-oriented session.

Set a personal growth goal and comment on your progress toward that goal on a daily basis.

Read an inspirational reading from a spiritually oriented book and write how you personally relate to the reading.

Read a self-help book about a topic that interests you and journal how you relate to each chapter at the end of each
chapter.

Discuss a current problem that you are experiencing and identify possible solutions and ways of dealing with it.

Journal in the morning to record your night time dreams, plans or goals for the day, food plan and other thoughts.

Journal in the evening to observe how you met your goals, your important feelings and experiences that day, the blessings that you received for the day, amends that yiou may need to make to others or issues that are troubling you.

There are many books on journaling that give more specific ideas on journaling. Some focus on specific topics such as grief and loss and others are general guides to making the most of journaling for personal growth. There are also hundreds of online resources that will give you more ideas.

Change your breathing, change your asthma, sleep apnea, stress

We all know that a couple of good, slow breaths are calming.

There’s more. Learning simple changes in breathing patterns can significantly help people suffering asthma, sleep apnea, snoring and other breathing disorders.

In the late 1940s, Russian medical student Konstantin Pavlovich Buteyko made an observation that has changed the management and lifestyle of thousands of people with breathing disorders. He noticed that the condition of patients in the acute respiratory ward deteriorated when their breathing rate increased. He also noticed that those who reduced or normalized their breathing rate began to recover. This fact had been noted before, but Buteyko's research and application of these observations allowed him to develop the breathing techniques that bear his name today.

His work lives today with the Buteyko Institute, which has demonstrated this method throughout the world. Additional applications have been documented to calm children in school settings. In Glasgow, Scotland, where the Buteyko program was utilized in whole schools, the cycle of stress was nearly completely eliminated and students’ progress and social skills and attendance improved.

You can find more info at Sleeping All Night, which is designed to provide concise information on Buteyko with particular attention given to addressing asthma, sleep apnea, snoring, insomnia, nasal problems, anxiety and general health improvements.

For more, see this YouTube video – one of many online – for a very simple piece of advice for everyone to improve their health that will cost you nothing.

Healthy Lives, Healing Journey open house and book sale

Just a quick reminder of our upcoming open house and book sale at Lake House Health & Learning Center:

Sunday, Aug. 16, from noon to 3 p.m. at 932 Lake Ave., Racine. Watch for the colorful flag!

Lake House practitioners and friends will gather to speak, demonstrate and share important information about starting you on a healthy journey – or helping you move ahead to your next step of personal growth and change.

If you want to make changes in your life – or are seeking second opinion – or looking for some good bibliotherapy -- or just want to gather with kindred spirits, join us.

Here are the practitioners you'll meet and their specialties:

"Psychotherapy as Experience: How It Creates Real Change" with Karen Carnabucci, LCSW, TEP, psychotherapist, coach and psychodramatist.

"Animal Reiki" with Judy Warner, nationally certified massage therapist and Reiki master.

"Pet First Aid" with Michele Safcik, owner of Little Pals, a pet-sitting and pet care service.

"Stress Relieving Yoga" with Marie Boyum, certified yoga teacher, meditation teacher and wellness coach.

"Chiropractic Care for Improved Posture and Reduced Pain at Work" with Dr. Scott Sheriff, chiropractor.

"Spiritual Guidance" with Karen Aiken, spiritual teacher and raw foods consultant based in Lake Geneva.

Plus, Laura Sebastian, Feldenkrais practitioner and macrobiotic cook, will circulate within the open house and answer questions about her work.

We’ll have stacks of affordably priced health books on topics ranging from parenting to self-help to mental health to recovery, plus healthy refreshments, printed information – including the 2009 Guide To Health, Wellness and Creative living in Southeastern Wisconsin and Northern Illinois – and discount coupons and door prizes.

Call (262) 633-2645 for more information.

May Creative Souls inspire you

Every so often, I like to check out other people’s blogs. It’s a nice diversion from many of the topics that I deal with every day as a helping professional and my own blog (this one!) which sometimes can become quite serious.

Just today I discovered a beautiful site called Creative Souls, which allows people to share and exchange photos, ideas and examples of their creativity. Since I like looking at change as a challenge for creativity and courage, I love this idea and what it represents.

The fact is that creativity is the antidote to pain and the reward of inspiration. It is also a joy. So, enjoy! May you be inspired to create something good.

Visit Creative Souls

Breath of Fire is yoga's substitute for cup of coffee

Are you looking for a way to reduce your use of coffee and learn how to energize yourself naturally?

I like “Breath of Fire,” a dynamic breathing technique from the practice of Kundalini Yoga. Here’s a YouTube video by Gurmukh teaching this technique which offers a huge list of benefits, including opening energy pathways in the body, detoxifying the system and increasing vitality. It can change your energy and mood in as little as one minute -- no caffiene involved.



There are many variations of this technique – the version that I learned comes from Joachim Mayer who teaches Kundalini Yoga in Racine. When I sometimes teach it to clients, it involves keeping your mouth closed and breathing in and out rapidly through the nose. I don’t use the sticking-out-the-tongue part. Sometimes the hands are at rest on the knees and sometimes they are raised above the head.

Here’s another version with Anmol Mehta who has many videos on YouTube. Try it. Coffee’s lure will never be the same.

"How do I make someone stop drinking, drugging, smoking...?"

Here's the scenario:

You have a person who is drinking, drugging, pill-taking, smoking or -- fill in the blank -- in your life. The person is someone you care about and you clearly see that this compulsive or addictive behavior is hurting the person and affecting others -- including you.

One of the most common questions that I receive is, "How do I make someone stop?" This question has recently become more frequent due to news coverage about entertainer Michael Jackson's extreme prescription drug use, which led to his death in late June. The current Associated Press report that increasing numbers of women are drinking dangerously adds urgency to the question.

Well, you'll never MAKE someone stop. But what you do, or don't do, can have a serious effect on the well-being of the other person -- as well as your own level of sanity and ability to function in your world with the drinking, drugging, pill-taking person.

Ultimately, you will have to learn how to support, not to "fix." This isn't easy. People naturally want to make things better for other people, especially people they care about, and the word "support" is so vague that it has come to mean just about anything.

Here's what doesn't help:

Blame, nag, scold, shame, criticize, threaten, beg, plead, yell, swear, name call, use sarcasm, hit, scream, manipulate, cry, pout, judge, give guilt trips, pressure, accuse or put down. Not only are all of these actions non-productive, they create an adversarial relationship with you and the person you're trying to help.

Purchase, supply, offer or use mood-altering chemicals for or with the person who you think should quit such use.

Dismiss the seriousness of substance abuse or addiction by sending e-mails, greeting cards or gifts to the person that make drinking, drugging, binging, -- fill in the blank again -- amusing, normal or permissible.

Speaking to the person about his or her addiction when he or she is intoxicated or high. It's not productive.

Excusing the person's behavior, putting the actions to stress, life difficulty, childhood pain, economic struggles and the like. Although it is understandable that the person may turn to mood-altering chemicals and activities to relieve the emotional or physical pain, many others have these experiences and do NOT abuse substances or practice dangerous compulsive behaviors. If they do, they have the responsibility to address this brain illness.

Here's how you can support change and abstinence:

Speak to the person when he or she is not intoxicated. In as calm a voice as you can manage, mention your concern. Speak about the person's health and the way that you are affected by the person's behavior. You can also say, "I love you and want you to be healthy and enjoy life."

Educate yourself about substance abuse and addiction. It is a brain illness, in which the brain has been taught to crave the mood-changing substance, despite the person's conscious wish to stop its use. Books, publications, online resources and community groups like Focus will help you learn more.

Allow learning from natural consequences and permit the person to face the reality of his or her use. If health, legal, occupational or other problems result due to use of mood-altering chemicals, that person should take responsibility for these matters. This may mean paying fines, getting repairs for the OWI-damaged car, spending savings for an attorney or even going to jail.

Plan an intervention. Interventions are carefully prepared and rehearsed meetings of family, friends, professionals and others who are willing to directly and lovingly speak the truth about how someone's chemical use is damaging their lives. You will also need to identify what you will be willing to change about your behavior if that person does not change. A helpful book about interventions is "Love First: A Family's Guide To Intervention."

Support the person's ongoing involvement in 12-step groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Nicotine Anonymous, Pills Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and other self-help groups or programs that teach people how to live without mood-altering substances.

Support the use of psychotherapy and other appropriate health-enhancing choices for the addict. Offer to help in researching options and resources and be willing to take part in family or couple counseling sessions.

Offer to provide transportation, funds, child care or other specific resources that help the person attend meetings, treatment programs, therapy appointments and other positive self-care and health-care activities.

Attend self-help groups for yourself. This is critical. Groups like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and O-Anon and many others offer a structured program to learn how to change behavior patterns that are enabling, destructive or otherwise counter productive. You will also learn how to practice detachment with love, step away from the person's issues and get support for yourself.

Ask the recovering person, "How can I support you?" and encourage the person to be specific.

Stop using mood-altering substances yourself. If the thought of stopping your use to support someone else become sober and clean panics you -- even for a short time -- then you may have a problem that you should address.

Work on yourself and your own personal growth and understanding as you find ways to care for yourself and enjoy and improve your life. Find a psychotherapist, coach, other helping professional or sponsor to guide you.

If you or your children are in personal danger due to a person's use of chemicals, make plans to protect yourself and leave the situation if necessary. In Racine, you can call 211 Racine or the Women's Resource Center, which assists abused adults and their children.

Remember that the outcome of another person's life is not in your control. But you do have the opportunity to learn how to make healthy choices for yourself and your family and many times those choices impact the other person.

Creativity in high demand in low economic times

Who wants to be a millionaire?

Difficult economic times have spawned zillions of new ideas, entrepreneurship and even millionaires. There are multiple stories on the Web claiming that that more millionaires were made during the era of the Great Depression than in any other era in U.S. history. Whether that story is true, I don’t know – but I do believe that many people saw opportunities amid inflation, unemployment and soup lines and found themselves thriving rather than just surviving.

There are people, me included, who say that the current recession is no exception the possibility of innovation and prosperity. I like how Andrew Razeghi, author of “The Riddle: Where Ideas Come From And How To Have Better Ones,” says that economic downturns are good times to break with the status quo. The fact is that creativity is a key skill in this economic market. Business people, large and small, must approach their businesses, employees, marketing strategies, products and services with new eyes and the willingness to make appropriate changes. So must community leaders, social service agencies and a host of others. People who are creative – who have the gifts of looking at timeworn cultural traditions and finding new possibilities -- are in great demand.

But what is creativity?

We have to banish the idea that: “Creativity is thinking outside of the box.” It is NOT! Creativity is using BOTH sides of the brain — the right brain and the left brain — and the ability of the brain cooperate and to put information together in new ways. We create best when we balance the brain and use both our thinking and feeling capacities. Here’s a quote from Rosabeth Moss Kanter that I love:

“Creativity is a lot like looking at the world through a kaleidoscope. You look at a set of elements, the same ones everyone else sees, but then reassemble those floating bits and pieces into an enticing new possibility. Effective leaders are able to.”

Or, as I like to say:

"Forget the box! It doesn’t work that way! Forget the emphasis on thinking. It doesn’t work that way! It’s the BRAIN, not the box."

Jill Bolte Taylor’s amazing new book, “My Stroke Of Insight: A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey,” eloquently tells about her stroke and how she could no longer think in a linear fashion. She literally experienced the different functions of her brain, gained in capacity to stay in the present moment, developed new skills and learned that the right brain is the key to enlightenment. See information about the book, read an interview and watch a video here and visit her Web site here.

She says:

"...although I lost my left cognitive mind that thinks in language, I retained my right hemisphere that thinks in pictures."

I am always available for creativity coaching by personal appointment and phone. With the magic of psychodrama theory and techniques -- which impact both the cognitive and imaginative sides of the brain -- we can delve deep to find your gifts, identify and refine new ideas and decide how to present them for public consumption. Right now I’m working on a free e-book about how creativity works. Let me know if you’d like to be on my mailing list to receive a copy.

Youth and gangs -- a complex situation

Racine is seeking a three-year stimulus grant to coordinate gang prevention activities.

The funds, if received, would amount to $450,000 and would be used to hire a director and create a database that tracks young adults who have had contacts with gangs. The director would work with local organizations and the database would be made available to non-profit organizations, schools and local agencies. This potential grant is making news because gangs have been a top-headline news controversy for quite some time in Racine. The question about what do to about them has no easy answers.

The fact is that the topic of youth and gangs is complex situation with many causes and effects. The topic is worth educating ourselves about, not only to save the next generation of our young people but also to make our neighborhoods safe and prosperous.

Youth who join gangs invariably have suffered some kind of trauma – abuse, abandonment, emotional and physical neglect, witnessing a crime, to name a few. All experiences of trauma involve loss of physical or psychological power. When people have experienced trauma they want one thing only, and that is to feel powerful again.

Gangs help many youth feel some semblance of power in their lives. They are connected to a powerful group, for instance, or feel the power that comes with being accepted by others, taking daring risks and surviving, being feared by others, using mood-altering substances —again, to name a few.

Effective gang diversion programs for youth should help the traumatized youth to feel powerful again – in positive, rather than destructive, ways. Not every young person is able to respond in exactly the same way to exactly the same kind of program, so the programs need to be flexible and varied. Designers of programs also need to understand and be able to apply the most up-to-date research about trauma and the brain – which affects the ability to learn new information.

Gangs aren't limited to the United States. Here's an interesting video made by young people in London, England. I like the creative aspect of kids using digital storytelling to investigate and share experiences and information.

Here's another video, this one from Los Angeles, showing an innovative program that takes a "whole child" approach to helping youth succeed in school, cope with trauma, and avoid gangs and delinquency. It is a partnership between LAUSD, LAPD, CSU-Los Angeles, Alliance for a Better Community, and Families in Schools; it targets at-risk youth in the Pico-Union district through a four-part intervention, one of which is Ripple Effects.

Finally, discussion of addressing gang activity in Hobbema, once a oil-rich reserve of 12,000 Cree Indians south of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which is struggling to regain control of its community from the grips of violent street gangs. I like the one community member's mention of the gangs being "spiritually and emotionally hungry."