Dr. Mate explains the excitement of addiction

Addiction is one of the most perplexing and challenging of human habits. Why do some people become addicted to drugs, to alcohol, to gambling, to sexual activity, to tobacco, to overspending? And why is it that we seek such destructive ways to comfort ourselves?

And why is it so difficult to stop these habits, even as they threaten our health, jeopardize our relationships and corrode our spirits?

For more than 10 years Gabor Mate, M.D., was been the staff physician at the Portland Hotel, a residence and harm reduction facility in Vancouver, British Columbia. His patients are challenged by life-threatening drug addictions, mental illness, Hepatitis C or HIV -- and in many cases all four. In this video, he shares how the brain develops and why and how the drugs of abuse offer so much vitality and excitement, even to our detriment.Countering prevailing notions of addiction as either a genetic disease or an individual moral failure, Maté presents an eloquent case that addiction – all addiction – is in fact a case of human development gone askew, the importance of a non-stressed nurturing parent and the reality of trans-generational trauma.

He is the author of the bestselling books Scattered Minds, When the Body Says No: The Hidden Cost of Stress and now In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts - Close Encounters With Addiction.

Watch his lecture here; it is long but fascinating:

Addiction field is finally embracing holistic treatment

There was a time not long ago when addiction professionals would chuckle upon hearing a colleague talk of providing “holistic” treatment.  Or when a treatment center would provide an hour of yoga for the newly recovering addicts -- mostly to keep them busy while the staff planned the next talk therapy session.

Today, it would appear that some of the most prestigious treatment centers can’t move fast enough to be associated with the term, now that more are seeing how complementary therapies can help improve upon the success of traditional treatment strategies. Later this month, about 1,000 professionals are expected to attend a conference in Las Vegas called “Holistic Treatment: Changing the Way We Look at Recovery—Body, Mind & Spirit.” A state conference, sponsored by the Wisconsion Association on Alcohol and Other Drug Abuse, is titled "Science, Treatment & Wellness in Collaboration for a Holistic Recovery" and is coming up  May 10-12 in Middletown.

Holistic treatment is here for sufferers of addiction in a bigger way than ever before. And although recovery people have long preached the three-part nature of the bio-psycho-social affliction, most of the focus was still on talk therapy and Twelve-Step meetings.

Now acupuncture, massage, yoga, nutrition and other complementary methods are included in the treatment mix as authentically healing. I want to say a good word for alternatives to talk therapy which are much more inclusive of the whole self -- and include mind-body therapies like psychodrama -- it's been around for a while but now with many new innovations -- plus tapping, Systemic Constellation Work, Somatic Experiencing, EMDR and others.

When you're riding the roller coaster, you don't think about stupid

Stupid?

That’s what lots of people have been saying when they found out that former Racine mayor Gary Becker purchased a batch of girlish-sized lingerie just two weeks ago.

If he hadn’t purchased the lingerie – or at least hadn’t been recognized and reported for the purchase – he might have walked away with probation at Wednesday’s court sentencing.

However, when the presiding judge found out about the lingerie purchase, he decided to revise his sentence to three years in prison, accompanied by extended post-release supervision. The former mayor was sitting before the judge, charged for his plan to meet and have sex with who he thought was a 14-year-old girl – but who turned out to be an undercover agent setting him up for an Internet sting.

Stupid?

As the judge noted, it’s not a crime to purchase women’s underwear at a department store in the local mall.

However, this man isn’t just any shopper. This is a man who was charged with a serious sex-related crime and had attended an expensive treatment center to address what is most surely a situation of compulsive sexual behavior. Within the context of this scenario, this purchase brings up a number of flags – flags that the judge appropriately noted and then questioned this man’s ability to adequately address and control his behavior.

All addictions – whether they involve alcohol, drugs, compulsive overeating, risk-taking sexual activity, gambling or whatever – are self destructive. The risk-taking behavior typically flares even higher during times of stress, when the rush of terrible excitement overrides the underlying slow-brewing anxiety.

Let’s put it this way: When you’re flying up and down the roller coaster’s steep curves, you don’t think about mowing the back yard, if you remembered to take the garbage out or the amount of the balance in your bank account.

Though we have no way of knowing Becker's exact reason for his choices, here are some general points to consider:

The person doesn’t consciously plan to be self destructive. The person isn’t even typically stupid. But he or she isn't able to manage the extreme pain and inner stress in what we would consider healthy and appropriate ways. In this case, we can imagine that a person would be rightly anxious to walk up the steps of the county court house, walk into a court room and face the judge who would determine the next chapter of a person’s life.

Many, many people who suffer serious addictions and compulsions are able to make significant changes and enjoy lives of peace and productivity with motivation, willingness, humility, support and the right treatment options. And others struggle and flounder. If there is anything good about this unsavory situation, it is the opportunity to learn more about how people use self-destructive behaviors to escape the reality of their inner world and how challenging it is to make changes.

Stupid?

More accurately, a painful and sad situation for all concerned.

"How do I make someone stop drinking, drugging, smoking...?"

Here's the scenario:

You have a person who is drinking, drugging, pill-taking, smoking or -- fill in the blank -- in your life. The person is someone you care about and you clearly see that this compulsive or addictive behavior is hurting the person and affecting others -- including you.

One of the most common questions that I receive is, "How do I make someone stop?" This question has recently become more frequent due to news coverage about entertainer Michael Jackson's extreme prescription drug use, which led to his death in late June. The current Associated Press report that increasing numbers of women are drinking dangerously adds urgency to the question.

Well, you'll never MAKE someone stop. But what you do, or don't do, can have a serious effect on the well-being of the other person -- as well as your own level of sanity and ability to function in your world with the drinking, drugging, pill-taking person.

Ultimately, you will have to learn how to support, not to "fix." This isn't easy. People naturally want to make things better for other people, especially people they care about, and the word "support" is so vague that it has come to mean just about anything.

Here's what doesn't help:

Blame, nag, scold, shame, criticize, threaten, beg, plead, yell, swear, name call, use sarcasm, hit, scream, manipulate, cry, pout, judge, give guilt trips, pressure, accuse or put down. Not only are all of these actions non-productive, they create an adversarial relationship with you and the person you're trying to help.

Purchase, supply, offer or use mood-altering chemicals for or with the person who you think should quit such use.

Dismiss the seriousness of substance abuse or addiction by sending e-mails, greeting cards or gifts to the person that make drinking, drugging, binging, -- fill in the blank again -- amusing, normal or permissible.

Speaking to the person about his or her addiction when he or she is intoxicated or high. It's not productive.

Excusing the person's behavior, putting the actions to stress, life difficulty, childhood pain, economic struggles and the like. Although it is understandable that the person may turn to mood-altering chemicals and activities to relieve the emotional or physical pain, many others have these experiences and do NOT abuse substances or practice dangerous compulsive behaviors. If they do, they have the responsibility to address this brain illness.

Here's how you can support change and abstinence:

Speak to the person when he or she is not intoxicated. In as calm a voice as you can manage, mention your concern. Speak about the person's health and the way that you are affected by the person's behavior. You can also say, "I love you and want you to be healthy and enjoy life."

Educate yourself about substance abuse and addiction. It is a brain illness, in which the brain has been taught to crave the mood-changing substance, despite the person's conscious wish to stop its use. Books, publications, online resources and community groups like Focus will help you learn more.

Allow learning from natural consequences and permit the person to face the reality of his or her use. If health, legal, occupational or other problems result due to use of mood-altering chemicals, that person should take responsibility for these matters. This may mean paying fines, getting repairs for the OWI-damaged car, spending savings for an attorney or even going to jail.

Plan an intervention. Interventions are carefully prepared and rehearsed meetings of family, friends, professionals and others who are willing to directly and lovingly speak the truth about how someone's chemical use is damaging their lives. You will also need to identify what you will be willing to change about your behavior if that person does not change. A helpful book about interventions is "Love First: A Family's Guide To Intervention."

Support the person's ongoing involvement in 12-step groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Nicotine Anonymous, Pills Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and other self-help groups or programs that teach people how to live without mood-altering substances.

Support the use of psychotherapy and other appropriate health-enhancing choices for the addict. Offer to help in researching options and resources and be willing to take part in family or couple counseling sessions.

Offer to provide transportation, funds, child care or other specific resources that help the person attend meetings, treatment programs, therapy appointments and other positive self-care and health-care activities.

Attend self-help groups for yourself. This is critical. Groups like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and O-Anon and many others offer a structured program to learn how to change behavior patterns that are enabling, destructive or otherwise counter productive. You will also learn how to practice detachment with love, step away from the person's issues and get support for yourself.

Ask the recovering person, "How can I support you?" and encourage the person to be specific.

Stop using mood-altering substances yourself. If the thought of stopping your use to support someone else become sober and clean panics you -- even for a short time -- then you may have a problem that you should address.

Work on yourself and your own personal growth and understanding as you find ways to care for yourself and enjoy and improve your life. Find a psychotherapist, coach, other helping professional or sponsor to guide you.

If you or your children are in personal danger due to a person's use of chemicals, make plans to protect yourself and leave the situation if necessary. In Racine, you can call 211 Racine or the Women's Resource Center, which assists abused adults and their children.

Remember that the outcome of another person's life is not in your control. But you do have the opportunity to learn how to make healthy choices for yourself and your family and many times those choices impact the other person.

Why people are addicts -- the lizard brain!

One of the most memorable and informative lectures for patients and their families at Caron Treatment Centers in Wernersville, Pa., is the weekly “Lizard Brain” lecture by Dr. Joseph Troncale. As a former group therapist and family advocate at Caron, I really want to share this up-to-date information with you -- important since so many people struggle with addiction -- or know people who do.

Listen to this excerpt from a podcast as Dr. Troncale explains how a person’s brain chemistry factors into the disease aspect of addiction.

Addiction is now considered a brain disease – a disease that affects the disregulation of the brain's limbic system – or as he calls it – “the lizard brain.” Find out how to order the full copy of the DVD too -- or call (800) 678-2332, extension 6402.

Also from Caron: The second most used drug in the United States isn't illegal. They are pills -- perfectly legal prescription drugs.Here's a powerful video about addiction to prescription drugs and how recovery happens. Watch and listen to other people's stories.

The biology of addiction

Evidence is piling up that there is a genetic component to alcoholism and addiction. Michael Ferguson, a professional associated with the California treatment center Sober Living By The Sea, puts it this way:

"Genetics load the gun, and environment pulls the trigger.”

Research is showing that people with a certain gene have a tendency towards being unable to quit once they have started drinking or using drugs. However, if an individual has a great support system of family and friends, a good education and the understanding of a family history where addiction has been threading its way through the genrations, then addiction is certainly preventable.

For more on addiction and genes, here is a video worth watching.

Hope for stopping addictions...

Here’s a question that I frequently get:

“I (or someone I love) has an addiction. I wish that I there were something easy that I could do or say to change this fact. I get depressed about this. I don’t have health insurance either (or a health plan that isn’t very good) so help seems out of the question.

Addictions are devastating to families. Whether the addiction is booze, drugs, cigarettes – or gambling, sex or spending – all deeply affect the person who is addicted as well as the family. And the community too, but that is another blog entry at another time.

I don’t know there is an easy answer. However, after more than I can tell you that recovery and change are truly possible. Just by asking this question, you are already beginning a journey of change and growth.

There may be a tendency to give up in circumstances like these. However, these unfortunate situations also allow us to use our creativity.

I suggest you begin by reading. You can gain a lot of information by learning about alcohol and how it affects families and individuals. One of the classics is “It Can’t Happen To Me” by Claudia Black who dramatically shows how children of alcoholics repeat patterns of their family of origin, even when they don’t want to. My personal favorite – one that I use regularly with clients – is “Another Chance: Hope and Health For the Alcoholic Family” by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse. She discusses how alcoholism is a disease that penetrates the whole person and the whole family. She describes the five roles that people act out in an alcoholic family (enabler, hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot) and how each supports the addictive behavior of the alcoholic rather than the health and well being of the family. This book and others will give you practical ways to begin to heal and recover from this pain and trauma to the soul. Find more info at http://www.amazon.com/Another-Chance-Sharon-Wegscheider-Cruse/dp/0831400595.

Many people have found 12-step programs very helpful in making long-term changes. If you are not already familiar with these self-help groups, these groups can provide valuable sources of support to change these habitual behaviors of family members, such as caretaking, controlling and isolating. Al-Anon is designed for family members and friends of alcoholics and addicts who want to learn how to change their place in the family system; Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are open to any person who wants to stop using alcohol or other drugs, legal and illegal. You can check out http://www.racinecentraloffice.com/ to learn about meeting schedules, and the RACO office, located behind Elmwood Plaza on Durand Avenue, has a book store with an excellent selection of books and pamphlets that is open to the public. Shop around for meetings, as different meetings have different personalities.

If a person is depressed and that person drinks alcohol, I say: stop drinking alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant, flattening the body’s central nervous system. Many people have found out that a change in diet eases depression. Take a look at the book, “Food and Mood” by Elizabeth Somer, a registered dietitian who shows how what we eat can amazingly and dramatically affect our mood. See: http://www.elizabethsomer.com/foodmood.php. Many people also find that the supplement, Omega-3 fish oil, can ease depression, and you can find a product of a fairly quality decent quality at your local drug store or supermarket or health food store. The psychiatrist I work with suggests experimenting with 6,000 to 10,000 milligrams per day.

If you don’t have health insurance, you may want to take a look at where you are spending your money. It turns out that many people spend quite a bit of money on “stuff” that ultimately isn’t satisfying but rather just a distraction from making changes. If funds are a real issue, please know that there are many psychotherapists who do offer reduced fees for highly motivated people.