Youth and gangs -- a complex situation

Racine is seeking a three-year stimulus grant to coordinate gang prevention activities.

The funds, if received, would amount to $450,000 and would be used to hire a director and create a database that tracks young adults who have had contacts with gangs. The director would work with local organizations and the database would be made available to non-profit organizations, schools and local agencies. This potential grant is making news because gangs have been a top-headline news controversy for quite some time in Racine. The question about what do to about them has no easy answers.

The fact is that the topic of youth and gangs is complex situation with many causes and effects. The topic is worth educating ourselves about, not only to save the next generation of our young people but also to make our neighborhoods safe and prosperous.

Youth who join gangs invariably have suffered some kind of trauma – abuse, abandonment, emotional and physical neglect, witnessing a crime, to name a few. All experiences of trauma involve loss of physical or psychological power. When people have experienced trauma they want one thing only, and that is to feel powerful again.

Gangs help many youth feel some semblance of power in their lives. They are connected to a powerful group, for instance, or feel the power that comes with being accepted by others, taking daring risks and surviving, being feared by others, using mood-altering substances —again, to name a few.

Effective gang diversion programs for youth should help the traumatized youth to feel powerful again – in positive, rather than destructive, ways. Not every young person is able to respond in exactly the same way to exactly the same kind of program, so the programs need to be flexible and varied. Designers of programs also need to understand and be able to apply the most up-to-date research about trauma and the brain – which affects the ability to learn new information.

Gangs aren't limited to the United States. Here's an interesting video made by young people in London, England. I like the creative aspect of kids using digital storytelling to investigate and share experiences and information.

Here's another video, this one from Los Angeles, showing an innovative program that takes a "whole child" approach to helping youth succeed in school, cope with trauma, and avoid gangs and delinquency. It is a partnership between LAUSD, LAPD, CSU-Los Angeles, Alliance for a Better Community, and Families in Schools; it targets at-risk youth in the Pico-Union district through a four-part intervention, one of which is Ripple Effects.

Finally, discussion of addressing gang activity in Hobbema, once a oil-rich reserve of 12,000 Cree Indians south of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, which is struggling to regain control of its community from the grips of violent street gangs. I like the one community member's mention of the gangs being "spiritually and emotionally hungry."

Veterans, trauma and steps toward healing

Years ago, a veteran told me, "I was never really prepared for the reality of war."

As a psychotherapist, I often think about his powerful observation when I work with people who have suffered various kinds of trauma. His comment continues to prove true as I hear stories from people who have been affected deeply by various kinds of trauma, whether war, abuse, crime or Sept. 11.

There are several realities to the experience of trauma, which we can describe generally as a situation that is a shock to the system of the human being. The experience calls upon all of our resources -- physical, mental and emotional -- to survive.

There are a number of online resources about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a normal response to war which affects many veterans after their service; one of the most comprehensive is The National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, offering information for veterans and families as well as health care providers.

After the survival of war, the self continues to feel the reverberations of the event. These after-effects may show up in many ways:

Hypervigilance. Keeping highly watchful is an important survival skill in wartime. In ordinary life, however, this watchfulness creates huge problems; the veteran is unable to relax and perhaps may find himself or herself suspicious of others, having difficulty in crowds and certain situations, even in close relationships.

Unexpected trauma bubbles. Ordinary events, such as seeing an insect crawling up the wall or hearing helicopter noise on a sunny day, can be extremely unsettling. They stir up feelings both consciously and unconsciously that make us erupt in anger and irritability or sink into depression, which cause personal difficulty and problems in relationships with significant others, family members and friends. Although the veteran may sometimes feel "crazy," these are normal responses to the experience of trauma.

Drug and alcohol abuse and addiction. Mood-altering substances may seem to help veterans relax the super-vigilance, stop nightmares of painful image-memories, and numb emotions that may be too difficult to bear or even identify. Use of drugs and alcohol, however, can cause serious physical health problems, and contribute to further depression since alcohol actually depresses the central nervous system and other chemicals play havoc with brain chemistry generally. Addiction, too, can create even bigger problems for the veteran.

Many veterans shy away from talking about their experiences or reaching for help because they do not believe help or healing is possible. However, the good news is that healing IS possible, as we are able to understand more clearly than ever before the components of trauma and the needs for true recovery. The first step is to admit that the war experience has affected you, perhaps even in ways that you cannot name. The next step is to reach out for resources that reduce isolation, which in itself causes depression and emotional distress.

The newest scientific research is helping us understand more clearly how traumatic experiences are stored in the body and mind. Therefore, while traditional counseling is important, other means of help are equally valuable.

Experiential modes of psychotherapy -- such as EMDR, creative arts therapies and psychodrama -- are extremely helpful in accessing the parts of the brain where trauma memories reside. So are various kinds of bodywork treatments and other modalities, such as acupuncture and acupressure which can reduce stress as well as physical pain. Some veterans have found that regimens of breathing, yoga and energy work, including Reiki, are relaxing and stabilizing -- sometimes reducing physical pain or distress as well as contributing to mental calming.

Psychologist Ed Tick has documented significant healing of veterans in his book, "War and the Soul," that includes genuine connections with older veterans and others in the community, Native American ceremony and sweat lodges, storytelling and other non-medical means. Sometimes the best healer is the hope that is generated within a human being by knowing someone who has survived trauma and has found healing and peace.

When shock reverberates in our hearts and minds...

Shock.

That's one emotion reverberating in the hearts and minds of most people -- city officials, colleagues, journalists and the general voting public -- who are hearing the news of the sex sting arrest of the mayor of Racine, Wisconsin.

Feelings of shock, as well as disappointment, sadness, anger, confusion, betrayal, mistrust and anxiety are common and normal feelings in such situations.

The feelings can be very intense when a person holds a specific attitude or belief about another person that turns out to be quite different.

Our view of the world has been shaken. Shaken badly. It can be difficult to reconcile the reality of what is happening with the image that we've held – maybe for a long time.

The shock also can contribute to a kind of a paralysis as people attempt to understand and integrate this new information intellectually. Therefore, it will be important for city employees and others to be mindful of certain steps that they can take to balance their lives and keep the city business running smoothly, as well as their own lives.

It is not professionally or ethically appropriate to comment on the circumstances relating to a particular person. However, many people struggle with legitimate questions that are very common when issues of this sort emerge.

Why might a person practice behaviors that jeopardize his or her job, position in the community, family relationships – or even their lives?

Such situations are much, much more common than we think. People can be very adept at keeping certain parts of their personalities hidden from many other people, even close friends and family.

Why would people take such risks when the consequences are so great?

Many people find themselves drawn to food, alcohol, nicotine and drugs, which alter their moods. Many other people find themselves drawn to the mood-altering components of activities -- especially that of risk taking. Evel Knievel jumped over cars other large items and found fame and fortune and, in some ways, respect. Some people climb mountains or join the Navy SEALS. Others, depending on their personality make up, are drawn to behaviors that may have very high excitement as well as very high risk. The risk of the forbidden often contributes to the sense of the high excitement as well.

Why am I so shocked?

When surprising information comes out, people are disoriented and question themselves because they thought they knew that person well or were a good judge of character.

I am not sure what I will say if I see this person again or if I will want to have contact with this person again.

It is also typical for people to grapple with how they will interact with a person who they now see very differently -- what they will say or how, or if, they will respond socially or in other ways. Stay with the process of noticing your feelings and processing your feelings – not gossiping! – with others and you will find your way.

I’m having a hard time getting my brain around this. I feel distracted and can’t concentrate very well.

The key is being able to identify and process the varied feelings in a healthy way (see blog posting, below) to regain your footing to make thoughtful and healthy decisions.

I feel embarrassed. Is that OK?

Often we are embarrassed to learn we have stereotypes about people who practice such behaviors– that they skulk behind bushes and have some obvious signs tacked on the back of their jackets. The truth is that perpetrators are male and female, and young, middle aged and older. They come from all walks of life and are often quite charming, attractive and socially skilled and are successfully capable of deflecting, minimizing, justifying or denying their behavior. They are business people, teachers, clergy persons, coaches, community leaders, politicians, doctors and people who purport to be healing professionals. There is a powerful story in the current Rolling Stone magazine about a female teacher – one of most popular teachers in her New Jersey school – who for months groomed and then seduced a 15-year-old boy while joking with her fellow faculty members who thought nothing odd of her behavior. See http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/25329318/sex_lies_and_phys_ed?source=music_news_rssfeed.

What should I say to my children?

We always must follow the legal precept of law, in that people are presumed innocent until an admission and confession is provided or until proven guilty in court. It’s also appropriate to say that some people practice behaviors that are not good for themselves or for other people or their communities. It’s also important to state that people are accountable for their actions. Use language that your children can understand according to their age. Don't feel you have to tell all the details as much as allow them to share their feelings and thoughts. If they talk about inappropriate touching or other odd behaviors they have experienced and do not feel good about, take this information seriously without becoming dramatic about it.

I’m feeling surprisingly affected by this even though I don’t know the person. Is that normal?

We can strongly react to certain news events, especially if those events remind us of our own life circumstances. For instance, many of my clients were grief stricken more than 10 years ago when Princess Diana died after a car crash. The incident reminded them of tragic deaths and sudden losses in their own lives, and they grieved anew. More recently, clients have reacted to the deaths of actor Heath Ledger, animal adventurer Steve Irwin and astronaut Laurel Clark. Similar reactions surface after reports of local gang shootings, murders, drownings or car accidents.

Individuals who may be especially affected by this news may be people who have experienced certain kinds of abuse, parents of children who have been abused and care-giving professionals who deal with these situations in their professional roles.

Is there any good that can come out of such a situation?

Such news stimulates people to learn more about certain social issues that they may not have thought very much about. That desire to educate themselves may be one of the few positives in what is otherwise always a difficult and painful situation. Others have the opportunity to look inside themselves to understand their behavior patterns or regrets more deeply as they observe how they react to the news. Some may be moved to reach out to get help for themselves to address the pain and improve their own lives. In Racine, many professionals and organizations provide psychotherapy and speakers and programs on various related topics, and there are books and resources in the library, book stores and online.

Things to do when shock happens

You can find your balance after shock hits. Here are suggestions:

Breathe.

Know that you may have many feelings – denial, disbelief, anger, hurt, pain, fear, anxiety, guilt or and confusion. Or you may experience several feelings that seem contradictory or even irrational. These feelings are normal responses.

Identify the feelings. Naming your feelings will begin to give you power over them, rather than feeling overwhelmed by them.

Share your feelings with a trusted person or several trusted people. These people should be able to listen to your feelings without judgment or argument but accept your experience as it is.

Identify your strengths. Yes, we have experienced trauma, but we are more than trauma. Personal traits such as courage, creativity, persistence, the ability to be organized, the ability to think things through, compassion, the experience of surviving and learning from past painful events are all strengths, and there are many more. We also have strength relationships with others – people who care about us and love us, as well as other more abstract relationships that sustain us, such as love of music, perhaps, or empathy with nature – that are important to recognize.

Connect with others. It’s good to remind each other of our strengths and gifts when we are feeling overwhelmed. It’s also good to be connected so each of us know we’re not alone in a difficult situation.

Cry. Let the tears out – it is a great cleanser and gives relief to feelings that have been building.

Stamp your feet for 15 to 30 seconds, or more. This is an easy and safe way to release feelings, especially anger, and disperse negative energy.

Physical activity helps. Simple yoga stretches will release physical tension. Tai chi and chi gong is very good, as are walking and other kinds of exercising.

Focus on activities that are soothing – enjoying a cup of chamomile tea, giving yourself a foot massage, doing light or inspirational reading, spending time with your pets.

Journal. Keeping a diary or just writing notes to yourself is a good way to organize your thoughts and feelings when you are confused or do not have the opportunity to talk with people directly. You can also write about your strengths, questions that you have and other thoughts and needs.

Continue with your routine that gives your life balance and structure. Eat your meals, take your vitamins, attend to regular household chores, your health appointments and the like.

Avoid the natural tendency to want to condemn other peoples’ actions, place judgment or debate who is “right” and who is “wrong.” Rather, focus on how the experience is affecting you and notice the choices you have in your immediate surroundings.

Notice if you turn compulsively to food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, shopping, sex or other activities to minimize your distress. These are not helpful in such situations, including long term, and can create depression, financial stress, more shame, weight gain or addiction.

Ask for help if you need it. It is a sign of strength, not weakness, and will prevent bigger problems in the future. If you are concerned about someone else’s well being, let that person know in a gentle but direct way, and tell others, too, if you believe the situation is dire.

Remember to keep breathing.